8
Jul
2010
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Yes. I think this is so…

“You will only grieve something that means something to you…Grief is actually a way of honoring”

Yup. But I do need to keep getting on with it. I do need to really reestablish living outside of grief. It is time Kathy.

Life things I learned during my time at I-Park (things I need to):

  • Develop a rhythm to my day and need to figure out how to establish it in any environment;
  • Create a nest, a physical space to call home;
  • Have regular access and nearness to green;
  • Keep focusing on my surrounds–listening, seeing, smelling, touching–which helps me be alive, so I need to focus (writing helps with this).
  • Hand off things I am not built for–I am not an administrator or manager (though I already knew this), I need to let some of these types of things be passed on to others;
  • Hold my breath more often before speaking, making more room for truly hearing not just the words but the soul;
  • Continue looking, recognizing, focusing on and sharing the gifts I am given;
  • Remember and practice writing which helps me focus on living, helps me be present;
  • Allow myself to finish mourning my losses;
  • Envision and dream of a future (without vision the people perish) and move towards it;
  • Continue to recognize that God is not punitive, I do not have to look over my shoulder for his wrath–this is simply a lie I have been told–this lie has been repeatedly proven false; 
  • Know that god is infinitely good even when it makes no sense at all; Look for the goodness Kathy. I will and am.
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