it covers me in ruins
i must defend myself as i never did before
i would have preferred
to leave it buried deep
knowing when i fling the mud
decades thick
deserved or undeserved
no longer matters
because i am self aware
(to a degree feasibly so)
i know when the mud strikes
it will splash back and cover me
in its ruins
why must i defend myself from you
is this a secret you keep even from yourself