but i am afraid anyway

Psalm 23
A psalm of David.

The LORD is my shepherd (yes.), I shall not be in want. (but i am afraid to i might not have what i need when i am old, when i am 97 or have lost my mind)

He makes me lie down in green pastures, he leads me beside quiet waters, (but i struggle so; i try to lay still and look at the sky; i try to hold still and smell the grass; i try to be quiet and hear the whisper of the brook; i try to lay down) he restores my soul (i know. i know. but it is hard to accept that, receive that). He guides me in paths of righteousness for his name’s sake. (but i get distracted, i stub my toe, i fall on my face)

Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death (and there are shadows and there is death, i feel like i am on a treadmill and not passing through), I will fear no evil (i don’t understand evil or were it comes from or were it hides), for you are with me (i know and then i don’t and then i know and then i don’t); your rod and your staff, they comfort me (can’t i figure it out without that rod thingy and just accept the gentle nudge of the staff).

You prepare a table before me (but will it still be there when i am 97 or loose my mind) in the presence of my enemies (dude, i don’t even know who my enemies are suppose to be). You anoint my head with oil (will it wash out or will my hair just be greasy); my cup overflows (do i need to wipe it up, will i get in trouble for spilling it, can i use my bubba-keg cup).

Surely goodness (but they told me it wouldn’t; they told me i couldn’t have that anymore because i was bad) and love will follow me all the days of my life (but they told me to watch over my shoulder for your wrath and law enforcement, what am i to do with that), and I will dwell in the house of the LORD forever (but what if they kick me out; what if i let them kick me out; how do i stop myself from walking away).