I can't remember laughter

I know I have seen him laugh with children, but I can’t remember him laughing with me, embarrassed by me for over a decade, yes, but not laughing with me. I don’t remember laughter.

I keep trying to visualize him laughing with me and it is so hard for me to see or remember. Maybe it was there and I just couldn’t see it.

Though I have seen contentment there when he would reach down and stroke a tiny, tiny leaf and it would react amazingly to his touch and close up or watch spot the squirrel.

So I will visualize peace and contentment there.