11
Sep
2011
0

set at least 2 of the 3 or 4 balls down for the weekend

three nights in a row in one bed! amen. haven't done that since thinktank in early June and not for months on end even before that…maybe not since summer 2010 i-park residency. my brain and everything else within me needed to stay in one place badly! NO DRIVING for anything beyond 15 minutes. it's the problem of working in two cities and navigating an additional city weekly to include family, whom I love and need, well plus an artist residency, home renovations and start of new school year. none of these are bad things. except the monthly gas bill. no way to spin that as good. ok well I can try–here goes, I didn't go into debt because of it (that's the only thing good I can say about my gas bill) and my truck still runs beautifully at 186,xxx miles. i actually count myself as fortunate to have each of these many good things sans the gas bill. yet with all the driving, trans- and dis-locating, and juggling my hats, my stress level has been through the roof, all three or four of them. so this weekend I stayed in one spot and only focused on one thing. no home reno and no planning for it, no studio down sizing or thinking about it, no art making, just a bit of school work, walks in my new hood and, OMGosh, I actually cooked (electric wok–stove gaslines not installed yet, and no grilling because of wildfire hazards). and I think three nights seeing the moon and stars from a single gps coordinate is working, a bit of calmness seems to be surfacing which leaves more room to experience the things for which I am grateful–like my hermitage and neighboring hood, my microforest, career(s), friends and my special grand friends, bros, and steadfast parental units. probably more but I am too tired to think that hard. as I walked today, it felt much like it did when I was a little girl–going outdoors in amongst the quiet loudness of the trees (no creeks currently–all dried up) on a slow moving rambling adventure, dragging a stick in the dirt behind me because it's fun and experiencing that same sense of awe at the overwhelming comfort I find at being outdoors under canopies of trees that whisper to me (no not in English–they speak lithely in breezish and rustlings. I have no idea what they speak, I just know it is good and gracious). a bit of road warrioring begins again next week for studio downsizing process.

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