hmmm. cough. blah.

when you finally, after looking at the house warming gift your mom has had sitting on the kitchen counter for a little over a decade, decide to open it and cook its contents, hmm, well cough, blah, hack. so I unwrapped the cellophane from the prettily arranged gingerbread man cookie kit, read the directions, mixed the decade old ingredients per instruction with fresh eggs, decorated each pressed out cookie with sparkles and such taken from the cabinet shelf from over the stove housing leftover birthday stuff from my childhood, slid the resulting items into and then back out of the oven, allowed them to just cool on the special rack designed for the task, AND then bit into one with hopes remembered….hack, blah, umm cough only to discover that the shelf life of a gingerbread cookie kit may only be one year, not one decade. hmmmm so I now have a plate filled with gingerbread men that upon the tongue have the texture of crumpled dried dirt and the flavor or lack thereof of cardboard or a communion wafer!!

DECEMBER 30, 2010
I just arrived at the parental units and the cookies are still on the kitchen counter BUT SOME ARE MISSING. OMG! I inquired with great fear for my mom and dad. To my relief, my dad let me know he’d been feeding the “cookies” to the birds and squirrels in the backyard. Thank God!


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