why this compulsion of no recycling

my exhibitions? some pieces are upcycled into new works. but why not show table setting as I built this summer, as designed at ipark, to see what it will look like in the white cube? piece went in parts in September to an exhibition. that couldn't house as originally intended. so in texas my table has never been viewed. so why not show it? rarely will a piece be displayed more than once without significant alteration. why? am I afraid I will be too lazy? to redundant? I won't be able to recreate (since the material nature of my work defies exact duplication? afraid to stop moving?

when I visit art league tomorrow, I need to view space not just for what is currently playing out in my mind but as yet unresolved but also for my table setting. many of my ideas would require big budget and more uninterrupted time. mmmm. oh darn her comes that preshow fretting. I can review my blog and watch the cycles playout. I wish I could figure out how to just go kayaking or something…the water is a mere 12 minutes away in the national forest. well it would require a kayak, but all frivolous purchases are on hold since academic income is at risk next year. too many things to fret about in each component of my living. I guess that stops when I am not living. fret on!

oh dreamcaster, what should I be dreaming into fruition?